Gül Sönmez is a transformational energy coach who helps people to move past stress and traumas for initiating change in their lives.
AMCHAM: Please introduce yourself so our audience knows a bit about yourself and your life journey so we better understand who you are and where you are going on your life path.
GÜL SÖNMEZ, PURPOSEFUL VIBES: Hi, I’m Gül. I am here to help you with transformational energy coaching to move past stress and traumas for initiating change in your life.
I have been working in big multinationals (P&G, Coca-Cola, Amazon) for 15 years. My journey on self-healing started a decade ago. That time I was a Group Product Manager, and one day I couldn’t move my right hand. There was no accidents, it just happened. Doctors were saying the reason for the block on my right hand was “overuse diseases” and after trying various treatments, my last hope was the surgery. I didn’t want to have a heavy surgery on my right hand (I am right handed), especially when there was no explanation of the diseases, my MRI scan was clean. So I started to look for alternative therapies.
My right hand was my painful wake up call. For the first time in my life, I realized that physical symptoms can reflect an internal struggle. You can lie to yourself or others , but your BODY NEVER LIES. My physical symptoms made me search for more to heal myself.
I started searching for solutions to fix me, to end my inner pain. I was going to a psychologist and was skeptical about the healing world in the beginning. I started my journey with Reiki. It was nice however the changes were slow, I was going back to the same issues around unworthiness and failure.
I wanted to understand how I can heal myself and change my life… I was obsessed with self-healing. I practiced Reiki, Theta healing, Shamanism, breathwork, kundalini, EFT and more… Something was always missing… That missing thing kept me for five years! Desperately looking for someone to fix me…
My path changed in 2017, when I moved to Luxembourg! I left my nice job, friends, teachers, healers behind… I came to this country to start over with another corporate job. This loneliness gave me the opportunity to work on myself. After trying various healing and coaching modalities, finally I understood the truth…Only we can heal ourselves — it is possible and is very simple. Using the right modalities, putting theory into practice everyday, starts a deep and rapid transformation. When you do the inner work, the outside world always shifts!
These shifts led me to work with my first client. One of my friend’s son’s had brain surgery on a tumor and she asked me if I could go to the hospital for healing. It looked like I was his healer, in reality he was mine. As Rumi said: “What you seek is seeking you”. From there the demand exploded, I started to work with clients from various backgrounds, various religions… Meanwhile, I became a certified coach and started to combine all healing modalities and energy work during sessions. I always continued to do the inner work for my transformation. t is true that inner work takes effort, although it is simple, it is not always easy, however it is there for everyone and it is possible. I was able to move from an anxious and unsatisfied life to a happier and calmer life with big and bold changes.
Now I have been serving clients from all around the world through transformational energy coaching and Mindfulness practices. I am not healing anyone, we are walking along this transformational path together to initiate profound changes in your inner world. Once the transformation of your life takes place, it starts internally, and eventually externally. It has been 10 years of my transformation journey since my hand.
For the last five years I have been serving others and over the last two years I built my own company Purposefulvibes, to help people get unstuck.
Who has been the strongest female role model influencing your life and what have you learned from her?
It’s interesting that this strongest female role model influencing my life and my business is someone I never met in person. I met her through her books and her teachings. It is Louise Hay, the mother of affirmations. Her work really inspired me in order to shift and change my belief systems, myself. It was the first time I learnt about “self-love”, I never felt it before, didn’t know it was that needed and it could affect my health. The relationship between internal struggles and the diseases were interesting to me when I was learning energy work. Her books made me become more curious and to learn more about healing world. I highly recommend her book “You Can Heal Your Life” to everyone.
Who has been the strongest male role model in your life and what have you learned from him?
It is definitely my father. The most important thing that I have learnt from him is faith. My father is a man of faith and he teach me how to lean on to trust when things are upside down. It is easy to hold the faith when the days are sunny, but it is a skill to keep the faith under the rain . His ability to trust and surrender to the divine system affected how I built my business and how I built myself as a person.
Many people live in the past, many live in the future, but very few live in the now. Why is that?
Most of the time we are either in the past, blaming, shaming ourselves OR we are in the future , worrying about what is to come. And staying here, in the NOW is a simple thing but not easy. There is a huge industry of mental awareness, therapies, coaching to help us to stay in the NOW. I think it is related to 3 things. One is how we brought up, most of listen to our families complaining about what happened in the past or worrying about the future, we learn that behavior. Than we grow up and meet the school system, which is also not rewarding enjoying or embracing the NOW, joy or present emotions. Than we start our adult life, constantly running after next promotion or success. When you are focusing on success, you are mostly working on the future. So there is nothing wrong with all that, those are just facts. We can make a difference in our personal lives starting with mindfulness activities or simple exercises to bring our focus back to now.
Since people can’t change the past and the future only starts tomorrow, the only place where people can do things and have any possibility to make a difference is in the now. How do you see this?
It is actually 100% true! It is simple but not easy, we need to teach ourselves how to bring our awareness to now. In order to do this I believe the key is not to ignore past or future. The key is to do the work to free ourselves from past and create a healthy manifestation with the future. Various therapies can help you to understand the lessons of the past. We can only let go or forgive when we understand how the past struggles helped us to be who we are. So I believe in the need of acceptance to move from the past. And for the future, it is nice to have your dreams and play with the energy of manifestations without obsession and attachment.
This is actually the true transformation for me. The profound shifts only happen when we do the internal shifts and to do the internal shifts we should be able to let go of the past and forgive. Than we can start accepting our potential which will shift the external circumstances.
Earlier in your career you studied Reiki. Why did you do that, what did you learn from that and how has that practice helped you?
I started my healing journey 10 years ago with Reiki. I was taking sessions back than and I wanted to learn how to use this teaching for me. It helped me to understand chakra systems, how to cleanse and balance my energy. Then I also applied it to others around me. It was a beautiful entrance to the energy medicine world. That time I was not aware of the other techniques. After some time, I desired to learn more and practice advanced techniques, but still I love Reiki and grateful that it made enter to this path. I think the biggest benefit is it helps you to relax and balance your energy.
What three best pieces of advice do you give (and why) to people who are dissatisfied with their lives and want to make a change?
- Healing or transformation is not a one-time ‘quick fix’ that someone else can do for you.
There is no finish line. Healing journeys are endless. We are limitless. And this is a positive thing — we have the capacity to change and transform every day. Only you can walk your path, the person who can “fix” you doesn’t exist. Sure, there are teachers, guides, coaches that can help you. But “the person who’ll fix you” doesn’t exist. I have searched for this for a long time, and my life changed when I understood one simple fact: only you can be “the healer” of yourself.
- Power comes from stepping outside of your comfort zone. Your fears might attack you and when they do, you’ll want to stay inside your comfy comfort zone. Fear helps you learn and grow. We need to understand what the fear is about. The win of the healing journey is not to eliminate fear completely. The win is to “feel the fear and do it anyway.”
- Judgment is inevitable – Sometimes we want to change but worried about others. “What would others say?”, “Will my friends think differently of me?“ or “How would my partner react?”.
We all want to fit in, to be loved and appreciated. This causes us to act from a place of what we should do instead of what we want to do. True power requires strength, and acceptance in the fact that not everyone will be happy with it. Your authentic self will trigger some people, it is inevitable.
The main issue here is to let go of the expectations and hope of “being liked or appreciated by everyone”. I guarantee that once you let go of your need to fit in, your transformation will be faster and you will be born into your true potential.
What and why do you encourage people to read which three books to help them evaluate their lives and change?
I would like to share the three books that help me deeply in my journey.
One of the books that helped me tremendously is “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom” by Don Miguel Ruiz (all my clients read it during our sessions) Although it is a very thin book, it is a lifetime bedside table book for mindfulness. Every time you read, you will realize new information – I’ve read it four times so far! It helps you set new agreements with yourself which will help your journey. My biggest advice is to stop after each agreement and journal on it ‘how do you use this agreement in your life, how can you adopt, what you realize’
The second one is The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak. You might notice I share a lot from Rumi, he is poet and spiritual teacher that can help you to open your heart to love. This book is a masterpiece in my own healing journey… It is a novel about love, it has multi layers, takes you into modern search for love with a deep spiritual love. When you read the book, some sentences will hit your heart. I remember that I paused reading after this part and journaled on it. It made me realize how much pressure I put on myself and the relationship… It made me realize Acceptance…
“It’s easy to love a perfect God, unblemished and infallible that He is. What is far more difficult is to love fellow human beings with all their imperfections and defects.
Remember, one can only know what one is capable of loving. There is no wisdom without love. Unless we learn to love God’s creation, we can neither truly love nor truly know God” — Elif Shafak
The third one is The Surrender Experiment by Michael A. Singer. Actually, I never thought that it would have this effect in the first 50 pages… then it took me in. When you read I know you would say ‘come on, it is not that easy or my life is not the same’. I hear you, I felt the same, in some parts I even got angry with the writer.
However, remember if it makes you angry it triggers the right spots. Keep the faith and keep reading. Remind yourself you do not have to act like the writer, however you can start practicing the beautiful ‘Surrender Experiment’ in your daily life for easy decisions and observe the outcome.
Tell us about the benefits of meditation, proper breathing and how people can learn more.
Most people are aware of the fact that meditation is a nice habit, but they’re not convinced about how it can help or if it can really help at all. Let me briefly explain top three benefits of meditation that are proven by science.
- Meditation Reduces Stress
Stress is a part of life no matter what your business is. Whether you’re an athlete competing in a race, an executive trying to get an additional budget, or a mother running after your kids. Stress is there. According to research, meditation decreases the levels of the stress hormone, cortisol, in our body. This feeling of calm comes from our hormones. By consistently practicing meditation, your body will learn how to relax in stressful situations and ultimately help you achieve a positive mindset.
- Meditation Improves Sleep Quality
There is a recent study in the Journal of Sleep, showing that people who are not able to get enough sleep will experience several negative side effects including weight gain, mood disturbance, increased anxiety/depression, inability to maintain focus/concentration, and decreased motor control.
With much research science clearly shows that meditation improves the quality of sleep.
- Meditation Improves Mental Health
We all have “blind spots” and we see things from our own perspective. These blind spots can make our struggles seem worse than they actually are. Meditation helps us to tune inwards and observe the challenges from various answers. Remember “silent isn’t empty, it is full of answers”.
The best way to learn more is to start trying. By trying different meditations you can understand which one is more aligned with you. And remember, nobody meditates with full focus when they start. It takes time. I highly recommend to start with guided meditations. There is a free guided meditation in my website you can download it and try and see if it’s works for you.
If these several short questions have not touched on the most important advice you would like to pass along to our readership, please use this space to pass along that which you think is important and would like to share.
Thanks for all the questions I think they cover all the important areas.
I want to add one of the most common question that I get : “How do you know if you are ready?”
You’ll know you’re ready for profound transformation when these three key elements are in total alignment.
- Desire : You have the desire to create a better life — a life where you can handle the struggles, obstacles and challenges of life and learn the lessons to be had from them. Because you know, deep down in your soul that you’re HERE, experiencing all of this for a reason. And you know there is something bigger than this to life.
- Motivation : Most people desire change + transformation in their lives. But many people struggle to find the level of motivation needed to take action. If that sounds familiar, don’t worry , you are not alone. What matters is that if you have the motivation within yourself. Once you have it, all you need accountability, finding someone who you can take the path of transformation with together.
- Repetition : Now comes the work. We often use repetition to learn a new skill or concept. How we use repetition defines our ability to move forward. It’s time to stop repeating negative, non-serving habits and replace them with new, inspired actions for growth. Loving yourself is an everyday job. Positive mindset is an everyday job. You need to create a joyful routine to become who you wish to become today.
And that is how transformation can happen.
Please share here your contact details for those of our readers who might like to contact you and gain your support.
Reading recommendations from Gül Sonmez
Link to: “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom” by Don Miguel Ruiz
Link to: The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak
Link to: The Surrender Experiment by Michael A. Singer